Wish the day ends sooner.

Mind is in a blur, as if to try to anaesthetise this wounded heart of mine.

In denial.

My friend said it best when I realised I was beginning to rant and becoming tempestuous. I'm not angry, I'm hurt.. Because I wanted her to be the one.

Even after all these while.

Can't denial reality.

November Rain. Relaku Pujuk. 2 songs stuck in my head, imbedded in my heart. November Rain was really random. Never paid attention to the lyrics before but woke up, realised that the first verse struck a chord with my current circumstance and so here we are, an 8 minute song on repeat on my phone.

Spend most of this duty lying down watching movies. The few times I was down at the yard, I ended up staring blankly.. Thinking and reminiscing.

No more what ifs.

I will be fine.

I am angry. I am disappointed. I'm distressed. I am not distraught though. I am gonna get through this.

Her mom replied to my message. Sweet sweet Cik Afidah. Hope my future in law will be similar to her. I will miss her. I hope she won't invite me for their wedding.

Enough for today.

Enough for a lifetime.


I will be fine.

posted from Bloggeroid