Talhah's Blog

It can be demoralising, having a status quo. A year on, still living in Chai Chee, still in Rota 3, no progress with TS (in certain aspects, don't wanna go into specifics), marriage nowhere in sight (lol). Let's tackle each one at a time. But note I said it *can* be demoralising, but I am still okay, just wished things will change.

Most people don't like changes. Some even fear it. I won't exactly say I embrace change wholeheartedly (re: New DRC, new people at work, new people at Silat, among other things), but sometimes, if things have been stagnant, something new may excite. At the very least, I will learn something from the experience.

House. Honestly, knowing we wanna sell the house, I'm just lazy to do anything. Chores especially. Especially since Safwan has been rather diligent lately. I call it the Girlfriend factor. Like how I was when I was with Keen. When I adopted good practices from her and her mom. When I actually bothered. Kinda prepping myself for marriage life so I guess I know where Safwan is coming from. Good for him. Me? Meh. Not in the mood.

No idea when we will ever find a buyer. Dragging on and on and on.. I know someday soon, we will find someone or they will find us, but in the meantime, I'm just gathering ideas for the new house.

So the course will be on the 13th. Have I mentioned that? Oh, since this is about work, I got BAPT tomorrow, and I was only informed moments before ending duty on Saturday. Brilliant Mat. Nanti aku ungkit kau merajuk. Macam pompan ah kau. Da jadi laki orang, jadi bapak orang perangai masih budak-budak. Whatever. I'm looking forward to Firebike. When people ask, they mistake my hesitance as a sign of doubt but it's not that. 6+years with Rota 3. How can I not miss my bros? So what if I'm still at Paya Lebar? It's not the same. All the shit we've been through, all the stuff they taught me. Always proud to be a Sect Comd from STN21R3. But, I gotta move on.

Oh, and IPPT on the 7th. EEEEP!

Sebelum satu masalah diuruskan, lagi satu ditimpa. Makin lama, makin mencabar mengendali urusan TSS, And the problems are coming from the 'inside'. I feel sad that I look forward more to SP trainings to TSS. Because I wanna contribute more to TSS. But my energy, my time and more important other people's commitment restricts it. I feel exhausted going to TSS trainings even though I know and I feel I have more to give at TSS than SP.

Well, hopefully starting KPSK trainings will get the mood and momentum going. But at this rate, I may have to drop SP next year, because TSS is more important to me. SP without me will still go strong, In Sha Allah. TSS needs all the help we can get.

I do feel some jealousy looking at other perguruans and even other TS Cabangs on social media. I want to bring us there. We will get there.

Imma skip the last topic. TBH, I happy being single at the moment. I get to do the things I wanna do. Perhaps in an alternate universe/timeline, I might already be married by now, Maybe even have a kid or two. That doesn't matter, cos I'm living this one. Seriously, if this really is an issue to me, I would have made more effort getting out there meeting new people. I'm doing the things I love. I'm fine.

That being said, she does message me first from time to time. Yay! Hahahaha..