This post was kept as a draft for a really long time. I think it's okay for me to post it now. Note: this was sometime in 2011 or earlier.. =D
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It's been a really long time, since my last.
Quick updates: Change in relationship status. Change in financial situation. Change in priorities.
Anyways the reason why I'm posting is... I've been feeling anxious lately.
Mostly because of the relationship I'm in. Don't get me wrong, I really like being with her. She's great, smart, gorgeous, much more mature than I am (which is good, keeps me in line).. both of our family is more or less okay with us..
But she has this... thing.. which is beginning to irk me, much as I do not want to admit. See, I now have a netbook. I bring it around quite a bit. Naturally I have no qualms when she wants to it. Same thing with my Omnia 2 (yes! I have one!) But what she does with it...
It's one thing to be going on Facebook, doing all your usual stuff and all.. but it's another thing altogether when you keep visiting your ex's FB, blogs, his gf's blogs and FB, other guys.. And rather frequently. And when I ask or make a comment, she'll shoot me down with a "Kaypoh!" WTH.. All the while I'm staring into deep space while she does her thing with my gadgets..
She has lots of friends.. I got no problem with this. What I do have a problem with is she does not tell or imply to most of them that she's unavailable, if you know what I mean. Then she interacts with them as usual. And she does flirt with some.
Guess this is the price to pay for going out with a pretty girl.
Another thing I am getting pissed off is she likes to reprimand me a lot. I admit I may be silly or over-the-top or simply misbehaving.. but.. come on.. no one likes being scolded. Sometimes even the most innocent question will blow her off. And she cant handle if I make any comments about her.. WTH...
All this.. has made me anxious. I want to spend time with her.. but when I'm with her.. Fuck.. I do like some attention once in a while. I am getting pissed off but I don't want to get angry with her. Thus this ranting.
I am still adjusting to her and her way of life. Her expectations. She's not like any of the other girls I've been with. She's not so affectionate and intimate.. most of the time. Kinda hard to get used to it.
so why am I with her?
She's gorgeous. She inspires me. To be a better Muslim. To be a better Man. She's fun (when she's in the mood). She wants to be with me (I believe.) She is concerned about me.
I think I'm starting to annoy her too. She has lots of stress and problems of her own, and I think I'm beginning to be another.. Damnit.. I just wanna be happy with her, make her happy. She's not allowing me to do that. Again, causing me to be anxious.
This is a crap post. I just wanna externalize my thoughts..
