Talhah's Blog

You know how it is. We always claim that no one really knows us well. No one. Especially during the teenagers years.

OR is it?

I often tell myself that line. After all, I don't really like to air my personal thoughts and troubles. My family barely knows what I'm up to. They assume a lot of stuff. For example, if I'm in my room, I'm on the computer, gaming. Sure, that may be the common routine but sometimes my mom nags about it when I'm not gaming. I might be doing my school work, Silat stuff, perhaps even HER stuff, or not at the com at all. Ridiculous.

I find it hard to communicate with anyone in the family. Perhaps the exception could be my Sister. My dad? Please. Unless it's a scolding, advice, Silat matter, me asking for money (hehe) or my dad in a good mood. My mom? A bit better, but we talk about general stuff. Family history, Silat History, all kinds of general knowledge, current affairs, etc. But about me? Nah.

Ok Siblings! Line up peps! First up Sister. She's the closest, me thinks. I mean, if I have problems, she'll probably be the first one in the family I'll approach, especially personal matters. However nowadays, LIKE today, the conversation will somehow end up with her telling me about my flaws and how I should improve, etc. Even when the topic isn't about me, LIKE today, she'll somehow bring me into the conversation. So instead of my problem or issue is somewhat resolved, I'll have another baggage on my conscience.

Lil Brother? NEXT!

Bro-in-law? Nah. Can't be bothered. Almost all my conversations with him ends with him seemingly superior to me. Forget it. If I wanted an inferiority complex, I'll arrange an appointment with LKY.

Yet I realise that part of this problem is me. I don't want to share myself too much. I like to keep to myself. As long as I keep my cards close, no one can manipulate or hurt me.

However I do recognise that their observations of lil me is quite accurate... on the exterior. They can easily point our my habits and characteristics, but not my thoughts.

What are some observations that I acknowlede?
1. I'm lazy.
2. I'm slow to respond to orders
3. I use the computer too much.
4. I pick too many fights with my brother.
5. I'm not helping around the house too much.
6. Many other things.

Seriously, I can't be bothered. Lazy? Yeah my biggest flaw. Had been since I was a kid. I'll never deny my laziness.

Today's 'lil nag' by sis got me thinking. OK her points are valid but I simply don't like how they comment about me. Mom. Big Bro. Sis. Enough man.

So instead of making me willing to turn over a new leaf, I'm more determined to keep to myself. Because their observations rarely touches a whisper of my thoughts. It's always about my actions. Then they'll assume. Then my sis will compare me to my bro-in-law. Please. For every time you do that, it never works. Not in this kind of conversation.

Sigh.

OKok, I'll try to improve in such matters like chores and stuff. But it doesn't change the fact that my mind is beyond any of my family's true comprehension.

(Not that it's soo complex or anything. Just felt like phrasing it that way :P)